Anything but Convention(al): A Gal's First Con Experience

Hey fellow gamers! My name is Kristi and Cailleah has given me the great honour of letting me write a blog now and then for She Got Game. I also figured I should introduce myself a little so that you’re not all thinking some crazy chick has hacked the blog.

I have been an avid gamer since the ripe age of 5. My first experience came when I got to try the original Mario/Duck Hunt on the NES at my friend’s house one day after kindergarten. We sat down in her living room and from the minute her mom put the controller in my hand, I was hooked. My friend got bored after 10 minutes and was far more content to play with her paper dolls and Barbies but I was enamored with the world of Mario, never to look back.

From there my passion for the world of gaming only grew stronger. From my computer that was huge and only ran the game DigDug, to the Christmas when an original Playstation showed up on our doorstep from “Santa”, from n64 to Xbox 360, I’ve loved it all.

And now, thanks to Cailleah and She Got Game, I get to spread some of the stories and things I’ve discovered through gaming with a wider community of awesome people. Let’s hope this is the start of a beautiful blog-ship!

I suppose it’s about time to get into the nitty gritty details the real reason behind this post though, so here we go!

This past Saturday at the International Plaza Hotel & Conference Centre, the good people of ConBravo! hosted FanFare II, Geek Fest, a one day Geek Marketplace and Gaming event.

Super 1Up Games provided a plethora of awesome gaming selections for the masses. 

There was rarely any free table space throughout the day due to tabletop gaming popularity.

The vendor selection, though small, provided some incredibly creative and imaginative product.

Get 'em started while they're young, amiright?

There were some intense competitions happening but nothing was exciting as this Sailor Moon side scroller. Seriously. It was amazing.

The convention was small and took place in just two rooms, one for vendors and the other for special events such as live Nerf gun fights and the infamous Fandom Musical, but it also offered the opportunity for hardcore cosplayers who wanted one last hurrah to strut their stuff before the bleak, conventionless winter.

As a female gamer who has never attended a convention before this was a pretty excellent introduction. It was an intimate space and getting to tag along with the Super 1Up Games crew allowed me the opportunity to have a ton of interesting introductions and conversations with people without having to approach too many strangers on my own.

I get a little gun shy when it comes to walking up randomly to people and striking up chats and that’s something I’ve always been nervous about when it comes to conventions. I worried that I wouldn’t experience the fullness of the con if I couldn’t talk to anyone. I have always told myself that I’ll make it to FanExpo or Anime North but not having been exposed to what a convention is or could be I never seemed to have the motivation to spend the money or put together a cosplay either.

But then yesterday happened and a whole new world opened up before my eyes. With everything that’s happened in the past few months with GamerGate I think I’ve gotten too personally invested and had a bad taste in my mouth when it came to talking openly about my passions for games and overall nerddome. I’ve been feeling like I have to always be ready and on the defense but that’s been a bad headspace to be in and I felt it break at FanFare because the people are simply amazing.

What I quickly realized is that the rumours about geek and nerd conventions are true. Everyone is really, really nice and really, really awesome. I have been so blind. I mean, sure, you get the occasional person who isn’t that social but most people are so cheerful and excited to chat about all your favourite things. It was a gathering of happy, positive people who all got together because of a love of games, comics, books, and anything else you could think of.

My point is this. It’s so easy to make excuses for yourself when you’re faced with new opportunities that are intimidating, especially if you feel like a minority in what you love. My love of games and comics has always been something I’ve taken a private pride in and only recently have I begun to wear it like a badge of honour in public so this was a big step. Challenging yourself to be proud of what you love is so important and it’s something that you have to remind yourself of often. It can be a challenge to embrace what you’re passionate about all the time, but you can’t let insecurity stop you from enjoying that and finding new avenues to do so.

FanFare II wasn’t the biggest con or the most widely attended but it achieved what it set out to do, to create a space for fellow geeks to get together, embrace what we love and have a blast doing it, and isn’t that what this is all about?

Convention tips for first-time Cosplayers (Part III)

Hurray! Final installation of our 3-Part series on tips for new cosplayers by Magdalena Auditore. This final segment touches on a very important, sensitive topic which not everyone is willing to talk about, so props to her for speaking her mind. Here we go:

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8. Make a list of everything you need to bring with you!

    This is important, so make sure you plan it ahead (especially if you are staying at the hotel). Make a list, not only of the things you need for your costumes, but for the essential things you need for the room. It'll be a bad time if you forget to pack your tooth brush or soap or shaving needs, extra batteries, etc. Make sure you have enough with you to keep you fed and well groomed for the duration of your time there. And make sure to shower every day! Nobody likes stinky cosplayers!

    Also, it wouldn't hurt if you put aside money specifically for the convention’s dealer's rooms. Conventions tend to be pretty expensive, so don't invest all your money into just the costume and the badge. You'll definitely want to come home with some souvenirs! In regards to medication, it wouldn't hurt to bring some Motrin or painkillers, since you will be on your feet all this time. If it's possible, taking some cold medicine or a first aid kit couldn't hurt either in the event where you end up getting sick at the convention. Nothing is worse than rooming with someone who coughs and hacks all night long (I speak as the person who has done the coughing and hacking!) If you think you might get sick during the convention, or are currently sick and still want to attend, make sure you come prepared.

9. It doesn't hurt to let others know that you love their costume.

    As long as you are respectful with your approach and ALWAYS ask for permission for a picture or a hug, people do appreciate the feedback. They love knowing that their hard work has paid off, they love to know what they did right, and they like knowing that you love their whole look. Don't be afraid to tell them they look great! There's nothing wrong with putting a lot of love and support out there and showing your appreciation.

Now that we've got the more lighthearted stuff out of the way, I do feel the need to add this to the list. This is perhaps the most important advice one can give first time con-goers, especially if they plan on attending more conventions in the future:

10. Sexual Harassment should be taken very seriously.

    This is especially important because conventions do have a huge sexual harassment problem. Nobody at the convention has the right to verbally or physically degrade you because of the costume you're wearing. As such, you have no right to do that to other people for what they are wearing, what character they're dressed up as, or how much of their body is on display. You also have no right to make lewd comments about someone's body or "what you'd like to do to it." You are talking to complete strangers who are meeting you for the first time. They might not share your same sense of humor and probably will not appreciate someone who is not their friend making comments or jokes like this to them. To put it bluntly, just act like you have some goddamned sense.

 

Following people around the convention, stalking them, taking pictures of them without their consent, and/or not leaving them alone when they're walking away from you is going to give that person serious creep vibes. Again, you are a complete stranger and they know nothing about you. Even if you have been talking to this person online prior to meeting them in person, you are still a stranger. Even if your intentions might be good (and I am saying this lightly), you need to consider that your actions are still very disrespectful. There is no need to make someone else uncomfortable at a convention and ruin their time.

    I must also add that just as you have no right to verbally or physically degrade someone, you also do not have any right to coerce or pressure another person into sexual acts. This is sexual assault and rape. If a cosplayer has not consented to sex and you have constantly disrespected his/her wishes and decisions to get what you want out of them, you are a sexual predator. I don't care if this person did not verbally express "no," because the absence of a "no" does not mean "yes." They shouldn't need to verbally express themselves if they're actively avoiding you, and you cannot convince me that you are completely oblivious to their message.

Before I conclude this, there is one crucial topic that needs to be made clear at the request of many of my cosplayer friends: you have no right to take advantage of young cosplayers, especially if you are several years older than they are. I know the age of consent in the United States is generally 18, but as far as I'm concerned, 18 is still a baby. I'm 24 and I want absolutely nothing to do with an 18-year-old and it confuses and baffles me that not everybody shares this mindset. For me, I don't care how attractive or "older" they look, or even if they are able to consent legally. You need to understand that even if they are 18, a year ago they were still too young to consent and very little about a person's mental and emotional state changes in just one year. As for the con-goers who are younger than 18, I've heard too many people try to say that the "jailbait cosplayers get innocent people in trouble" and I personally do not buy that. You are an adult and you are fully responsible for your decisions. You have no right to take advantage of younger cosplayers who may or may not be socially awkward or have self-esteem issues. You should be protecting them and looking out for them.

    In the event where you feel disrespected or uncomfortable, try to be as vocal about it as you can. This is not saying that it is your fault if you are not. This is stressing the fact that you have the right to be firm and angry when you are disrespected, so do not feel embarrassed or that you're being too hard on the person who is harassing you. Assume that they know exactly what they are doing when they are disrespecting you and do not feel guilty for putting them in their place. If you feel like it's becoming dangerous, try to find a security guard. If you hear someone sexually harassing another cosplayer, sometimes all it takes is one person to shut that person down, even if it's a simple, "Dude, don't be fucking weird." This should be a fun experience for everybody and to keep the community safe, we need to look out for each other and put a stop to this sort of thing when it happens in front of us.

    I understand that there are those who would prefer it if sexual harassment was not called out or made aware of at conventions out of fear that the convention will shut down or people won't go to them. That being said, I would argue that if you are not safe at a convention and the people running them aren't going to do anything to make the environment safer, that convention doesn't deserve your money. Your safety and health comes first. Seek out the conventions that have no-tolerance policies for sexual harassment. Ignoring the problem only creates more problems.

(Further discussion of these issues can be found at Feminspire, GeeksAreSexy, here and here.)

Final Thoughts 

    Like all things, conventions have both good and bad things about them. There are a lot of positives and a lot of negatives, but for every one I've ever attended, there has always been a togetherness and a sense of community and friendship. Once you're there and you're around like-minded people who love all the same things you do, it is very easy to cut loose and have as much fun as possible. Hopefully these tips will help you when attending your first convention!

Convention tips for first-time Cosplayers (Part II)

As promised, this week we're continuing with Part II of Magdalena Auditore's advice for first time cosplayers! This reminds me, did you know that we're starting an official SGG photography series? For one thing, all of us working on this project are artists, so we want to work in as many media as possible. For another thing, we want to get started on the calendar for all of our Kickstarter backers. We'll be working with the amazing Saajid Motala from Mix Tape Photos to do a series featuring gamers, developers and cosplayers. More on that coming up soon!

Anyway, to get back to the post, remember last week's points?

1. Make sure you go with the right people.

2. The cosplay community is very diverse.

3. Do not expect your first costume to be perfect. It might be rough at first, but if you stick with it, you will improve over time.

4. There are no rules for cosplaying.

Up next...

5. Don't be overbearing with your "geek credentials."

    There will be a lot of people who will make snide comments about how "that person shouldn't even be here, they're not a real fan of [insert game/anime/comic/etc here]." It's a sad fact, and if you've been on any number of geek communities online, you know what I'm talking about. When you attend a convention, there are going to be people dressed up as characters you don't know or at least know very little about.

    When I attended Youmacon 2012, I didn't know anything about Assassin's Creed except from what my friend would tell me about it. When I saw Assassin's Creed cosplayers and the detail and work that went into every aspect of their robes and weapons, I became interested in checking out the game. Again, everybody starts from somewhere and a good way to be introduced to a series can be to really appreciate someone else's love and hard work they put into bringing a character to life. It's also a great place to get back in touch with some old favorites, especially if you run into cosplayers who decided to dress up anything from Disney Princesses and obscure Final Fantasy characters to Static Shock and Angemon. Nostalgia runs strong in this community!

    That being said, do not come to a convention or approach someone if you're just going to pick a fight. It's unnecessary and just rude and there's really no need for it at all. I personally don't feel the need to approach people in costume and ask them if they're actually a fan of the game or the character. I just take a picture, say a few nice things about their costume, then go someplace else. People cosplay for different reasons: if they don't know the character, maybe they're doing it because they feel comfortable portraying that character because that character actually looks like them. Maybe someone asked them to cosplay that character so they could follow a theme for a group. Or maybe they're expressing themselves as fans of the character by dressing up as them. Whatever the reason is, there's no reason to be rude about it.

6. Keep the drama away from the convention.

    As you keep attending conventions, you are going to see people you do not like. As a biracial feminist, I already know that by the end of the year, I'm going to unfriend at least half of the people I've met at conventions for posting racist and misogynistic things on Facebook. Some people have a higher tolerance for such things, but I'm not one of them. It's a sad fact that people who seem really awesome in person show how ugly they can be online and I tend to just cut those people off for my own benefit.

    That being said, conventions are generally huge. If you see someone you do not get along with, you can easily make it so you do not run into them. It's very easy to get lost in the crowd and you have several distractions at your disposal: a gaming room, panels, a dealer's room, or just running around taking pictures. There is no reason why your time here should be ruined because of personal grudges, and there's no reason why you should ruin someone's time at the convention because of personal grudges.

7. Remember that this is a vacation.

    Do not forget that you put in the time and money for this convention. You took time off from school or work, you invested money into a costume, a room, gas money or airline tickets (if you're coming from out of state) and a badge. You have every right in the world to be here and to enjoy yourself while you're here. The worst thing you could do at a convention is to attend one and have a bad time. I have heard many cosplayers lament about dressing up as certain characters because they felt obligated to take pictures and attend photoshoots with people they didn't like, and that is absolutely silly to me. Do not associate with people who are going to bring you down and make you feel bad about yourself. You deserve to enjoy your time off as much as the next person.

  

On a personal note, I've discovered that I usually have more fun at conventions when alcohol is not present. This is my own personal preference, because when I get to conventions I already feel relaxed, pumped up, and am so excited to have as much fun as possible that consuming alcohol just seems unnecessary for me. Obviously a few social drinks can be nice, but for me, it is not a necessity. But if you feel that a few drinks on your vacation might make things more fun, just be sure to do it responsibly!

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The final installment will be coming up in 2 weeks :)